Monday, 14 November 2011

Chapter 10: Hunting & Histories

Chapter 10: Hunting & Histories
We ran quickly through the dark streets of Volterra, careful to avoid the few humans still hanging around; the night was very warm, and the hum of air conditioners filled the otherwise silent city.

Marcus held my hand, leading me through the maze like alleys and back ways until we reached a small wooden door set into the city wall. He grinned at me, and I had to smile back. Anticipation was building in me at the thought of leaving the city for the first time in over two months.

Without a word, he pushed open the door and pulled me through it. I took a deep breath as a soft breeze washed over us, full of promise and the warm aroma of the Italian countryside.

“Anything good?” Marcus teased, and I laughed.

“Not yet. We might have to go a little further from the city. Animals don’t tend to get too close to humans if they can help it.”

I sniffed at the breeze again. A whisper of something familiar drifted in from the east. Marcus released my hand.

“I haven’t got a clue what we’re looking for, so you had better lead.”

I nodded and began to run again, following the scent as it got stronger and stronger. Marcus drifted behind me, seeming to have no more substance than a ghost. He was so quiet, it was almost like hunting alone.

As I ran, I began to get myself back into the old way of doing things. It felt good just to run; to feel the wind in my hair and the ground flying under my feet. My instincts were taking over as the scent came closer. Deer; not quite the same as I was used to, but similar enough that it wasn’t totally repulsive. I was proud of myself; I had thought that I would find the old scents unsavoury after the rich smell of human blood, but my body seemed to recognize what was right, what I wanted.

Eventually I cornered the herd. They tried to run, but I was faster, leaping onto the back of the largest one and closing my teeth around its neck. The familiar flavour washed over my tongue, bringing with it a thousand memories of home. I sucked greedily until my kill ran dry, then sprang up and chased after the others.

I took down half the herd before I felt full. Letting the rest of them escape, I sat down, leaning against a tree, and let out a contented sigh.

“Good?”

I smiled up at Marcus, who was balanced on a tree branch above my head, watching me with interest.

“Very,” I said, licking my lips. He made a face.

“They smell disgusting. I honestly thought I was going to vomit.”

I laughed. “It does take some getting used to. Carnivores are much better; more like humans.”

“You have many predators near you?”

I nodded. “Mountain lion mostly, but the odd grizzly bear. Emmet likes to wrestle them.” I smiled as I thought of my carefree big brother.

Marcus tilted his head, curious. “What was your first kill?” he asked, just as casually as if he was asking what my name was.

“Mountain lion. It would have been elk, but I got, er... distracted.”

“Distracted?” Marcus dropped down next to me, leaning back against the tree as well.

“Hikers. It was a case of wrong place, wrong time. It could have been disastrous if I had been alone.”

He nodded, but didn’t push me. “Any particular reason why your brother feels the need to wrestle grizzlies?”

I smiled, grateful for the subject change.

“I guess it has something to do with his change. When Rosalie found him... he got caught by a grizzly out in the woods. It was just about to finish him off when she arrived.”

Marcus looked confused. “She fought a bear to get to a human she didn’t even know?”

I nodded. “She saved his life; carried him over a hundred miles back to Carlisle, knowing she wouldn’t be able to change him herself. She says it was selfish of her, to doom him to this life, but I know she never regretted it. He’s her soul mate.”

He seemed to contemplate that for a moment. I sat quietly, letting my hunt work all the stress out of my body. My stomach was full to bursting point.

Eventually, Marcus spoke.

“I knew Carlisle was compassionate, but... I never realised how truly good he is. To save that boy’s life, when he didn’t even know him...” He shook his head. “I just can’t imagine it.”

I smiled. “Carlisle saved all of them. Not just Emmet; Rose and Esme and Edward too. They’d all be dead if it weren’t for him. I suppose I would be too...” I trailed off, remembering.

“How so?” Marcus asked. “Did he change you too?”

I shook my head. “If he had never changed Edward, who knows what would have happened to me. Now that I think about it, I probably would have been crushed by a van not long after I moved to Forks.”

His eyes questioned me, and I struggled to recall the dim human sights and sounds. I closed my eyes to help my concentration.

“It was very cold that day. I remember... it snowed the day before, and then rained, and the rain froze overnight. My dad put snow chains on my truck so I would be safe, but I didn’t realise until I got to school.” I took a deep breathe, continuing in a whisper.

“I was stood by the back corner of the truck when I heard a screeching noise. Tyler, a boy in my class, hit a patch of ice too fast, and his van started skidding across the lot... heading straight for me. I remember that Edward was there... two cars down. I closed my eyes... and something hit me. Not the van, something else. I was knocked down; my head hit the side walk. I didn’t realise Edward was there until he swore in my ear.”

Marcus chuckled and I gave a weak smile in response.

“He put his hand out and stopped the van. It started to swing around the truck bed. My legs would have been crushed, but Edward held the van up and moved them out of the way. I didn’t know what he was at the time, and he spent the rest of the day trying to convince me that I hit my head too hard and imagined it. We didn’t talk for about a month afterwards...” I sighed.

Marcus seemed to be thinking about something.

“I’m curious to hear more of your history. Really I only know Carlisle’s, and I’ve always wondered where all of you came from.” He smiled at me. “Would you tell me? I’ve heard the stories of your life together, but never the things that came before. How did Carlisle save the others?”

I looked at him. His burgundy eyes were earnest, curious; he really wanted to hear all this.

“Well... he found Edward first. It was Chicago in 1918...”

Over the next half an hour, leaning against the tree in the middle of nowhere, I told Marcus our entire family history, from Edward’s transformation to Renesmee’s birth and my own change. He listened, silent the whole time, saving his questions for the end. I answered them as best I could while we ran back to the city.

Chelsea met us at the back door to the tower, holding the thick black robes we had left behind. She told us that Aro had asked for us to go to him as soon as we returned. When we entered the great hall, Aro came straight to me and took my hand. I peeled back my shield, careful to only let him see the hunt before I dropped it. He looked at me curiously; I said I still had trouble keeping it up for long periods of time. In fact, I had got much better at lifting my shield, holding it completely away from me for up to 10 minutes at a time with no difficulty.

For two months my life continued in the same pattern. Once a week I would go hunting with Marcus. Each time, I would show Aro everything that happened. I began missing things, important things; Nessie’s second birthday; my own 21st;Halloween; thanksgiving. Christmas was fast approaching, only two days away, when a very excited Marcus arrived at my chamber door one evening.

“Pack your bags Isabella. You’re going home.”

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Chapter 9: Backwards

Chapter 9: Backwards
After Emmet left, I got more and more depressed. The memories I’d been trying so desperately to distance myself from were coming back, stronger and more painful than ever. Everything was intensified after my change; sight, hearing, speed, intimacy. It seemed pain and loss got the same treatment.

I confided in Marcus the way I used to talk to Jacob, telling him about the hole in my chest, the heart that felt so heavy all of a sudden, the aching need to be somewhere else, a hundred thousand miles away from the sandy coloured city and its dark inhabitants.

It was during one of these conversations, when I had my head in his lap as he stroked my hair, that Marcus came out with a very unexpected statement that was the turning point of my Volturi life.

“I don’t like your eyes red.”

That was all he said, during a short silence between my sobs. I was so startled, they choked off abruptly and I sat bolt upright.

“What did you just say?”

“I don’t like your eyes red,” he repeated slowly. “They look so much nicer golden. And I’m tired of you being so unhappy Isabella. If making you at least part of the person you once were will help... well, I will do anything to make it happen.”

He pushed up of my bed, heading purposefully for the door.

“Wait!” I called. “What are you going to do? Aro won’t-“

“I don’t give a damn about Aro. As far as I’m concerned, he has manipulated and, though indirectly, mentally tortured an innocent young woman. He has taken away every reason you had to go on existing. I know that from the feelings you are having now. You deserve better than this life Isabella.”

Ice stabbed at my heart as I remembered Edward saying those words so long ago, when I was a stubborn, breakable little human.

You deserve better than this Bella, better than me.

“What are you going to do?” I asked again, calmer now, rational.

“Whatever it takes. I’ll sneak you out of the city myself if I have to, take you halfway around the world to find something you would find desirable. But Isabella...” He took my face in his hands and stared at me intently. “Trust me when I say that I will help you. I will make things better. You will be happy again.”

He was so fierce, more passionate than I had ever seen him, practically snarling with determination.

Though he still held me, I looked down, not meeting his eyes.

“I don’t deserve it.” I whispered quietly. “You’ve been far too good to me already Marcus. I never asked you to listen. I’m not supposed to be pouring my heart out to you; I’m supposed to be making you happy.”

He shook his head. “You don’t have to do anything. I don’t expect anything from you.”

Marcus’s eyes suddenly flew to the window, where the light of the rising Tuscan sun was beginning to shine through. The bright shaft of sunlight caught us full on, making his powdery skin shine like glitter. I could see the rainbows from my own sparkling shine dancing on the walls, and my heart ached for the times when something like this was special. In Volterra, flashes of sun making people sparkle were an almost daily occurrence.

“I have to go now,” Marcus said quietly, distracting me from my reverie. “I will return at nightfall. Hopefully I will have a solution by then.”

He kissed my forehead and slipped out the door, leaving me alone with my memories and my sparkle.
___________________________________________________________________________________

Marcus did return, as promised, with the setting sun. He didn’t even hesitate to explain. He simply grabbed my wrist and towed me through the tower to another secret back door. I guessed from his elated expression that he had been successful in his mission, and my suspicions were proved correct when Aro met us at the door.

“Be careful,” he warned us both, adopting once more the stern school teacher look.

We both nodded very seriously. Marcus released me, and I stepped forward, kissing Aro very lightly on the cheek.

“Don’t worry Master. He will keep me safe.”

“He had better.” Aro almost growled.

I laughed, trying to lighten the suddenly tense mood. Marcus took my hand again, smiling.

“Shall we?” he asked gesturing to the now open door, before towing me through and into the warm night.

Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Chapter 8: Emmet

Chapter 8: Emmet
That day, my past came back to bite me (no pun intended).

Marcus and I were spending the day together, which was unusual. In the month since becoming his companion, I had told Marcus just about everything, and he had revealed a lot to me. I felt like he really understood me, which was nice; I hadn’t expected to find anyone like that here.

Out of nowhere, we heard a disturbance downstairs; a very noisy disturbance, with lots of banging and shouting. A minute later, Chelsea appeared, informing us that an intruder had been apprehended trying to get into the city, and that Aro had requested our presence immediately.

We went down in a hurry, not wanting to upset Aro. It seemed everyone else was already in the big room, because the corridors were empty as we almost ran down them.

“Are you ready?” Marcus asked when we reached the door, holding his arm out to me.

I took a deep breath and slipped my hand into his elbow, then nodded, trying to smile. I had never seen the Volturi deliver justice in their own home before, and I didn’t know what would happen if Aro decided to end whichever unfortunate soul had crossed him. I didn’t know if I could face an execution. But I had to try.

Marcus pushed the big doors open and we walked inside.

“There you are brother!” Aro cried, tension thick in his voice. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

“Sorry Aro,” Marcus said, sounding utterly bored - as usual. He was only ever animated when he talked to me. “Is there a reason you needed us so urgently? You can usually deal with intruders by yourself.”

Aro huffed. “This is a little different.”

That was when I heard the snarling and snapping in the little antechamber. The sound was oddly familiar; like a dream of a dream.

Caius was getting impatient. “Get him out here. Let’s get this over with so we can eat.”

He clapped his hands and the door opened. A little crowd of grey shrouded figures came through, dragging something between them. Whatever it was, they weren’t having an easy time of it. The intruder, I assumed, was struggling like anything, and obviously stronger than those who held him. They gave up eventually, throwing him to the floor at Aro’s feet.

The shock hit me like a lightning bolt. I took in a sharp breath and gripped Marcus’s arm tighter.

The intruder... was Emmet.

His familiar curly brown hair was tousled and tangled. His clothes were dirty and rumpled, like they hadn’t been changed in a while. His eyes were dark ochre, so he was in need of a hunt too. They were wild, those eyes, desperately searching for something. When they found mine, he sprang up, obviously meaning to come towards me... only to be thrown to the floor again by Jane. It was too much.

“Master, please!” I cried, taking a shaky step forward. Before he could say anything, my shield ballooned out to cover Emmet, leaving him sprawled on the tiles.

“Alright, Jane, enough.” I heard Aro murmur, but I wasn’t listening. Marcus let me move away from him, and I ran straight to Emmet, kneeling next to him and gently manoeuvring his head into my lap.

“Why don’t we give them some privacy?” Marcus suggested, and I looked up at Aro, pleading with my eyes. He considered for a second, and then nodded. He motioned with his hand, and the guard members filed out hurriedly. Apparently none of them wanted to be around when Emmet got his strength back. Caius looked furious, but didn’t argue.

Marcus was the last to leave. “Take as long as you need Isabella. We’ll let you make the judgement on this one,” he said as he closed the door.

For a moment there was total silence. I couldn’t look at Emmet, though I felt his eyes on me. I just stared at the closed door, memorizing the wood grains.

His hand touched my cheek. I didn’t turn.

“Bells,” he pleaded, “look at me, please.”

“Don’t you listen?” I asked, angry now. I got up off the floor and turned my back on him.

“Bella? I don’t understand, what’s wrong?”

“Didn’t you hear Marcus?” I all but shouted. “Didn’t Alice tell you? I’m not Bella any more.”

There was silence for a moment. I didn’t want to break it, but I knew Emmet’s brain would still be digesting my outburst. The boy was smart, but he could still be pretty slow.

I sighed and turned back to face him. “What are you doing here Emmet?”

He blinked once, then frowned. “I came to get you of course. Why else would I come here?”

“Well, I’m sorry. You came all this way for nothing.”

“What?!” Emmet’s jaw dropped.

“You heard me; I’m. Not. Leaving.”

All of a sudden, he was right there. He grabbed the tops of my arms and shook me violently.

“Are you crazy Bella?” he shouted. “You actually want to stay here with these murderers, and leave behind everything you wanted? Everything we stand for? Why, Bella, why?”

The rage bubbled up before I could contain it.

“My name is ISABELLA!” I screeched, throwing him across the room into the wall. There was a shower of dust, but no visible damage, to him or the wall. That was good at least.

Emmet got up off the floor, but didn’t approach me. He stood staring at me. I watched as his eyes took me in; my hair piled on my head in ringlets, exposing the Volturi crest around my neck; my bright red eyes; the black cloak.

“You’re not just in the guard any more are you?” he said, and I could hear accusation in his tone.

“No.” I said, managing to keep my voice even with a little effort. “Aro has made me Marcus’s companion.”

“Companion?”
“I’m sure Aro means for it to be something similar to a mate, but really we just talk. His heart is broken too, Em.” I knew I was letting myself slip; abandoning the mask, letting Bella show through the cracks. I didn’t care. This was Emmet. My big brother. He would understand. And I had to tell him so the others wouldn’t be worried.

“You haven’t...” he trailed off suggestively. Typical Emmet.

“No, we haven’t.” I smiled, then became serious. “He’s still mourning his wife. And I could never betray...”

I couldn’t say the name. I took a deep breath to steady myself. “I mean, we are still married after all.”

We stood there, the uncomfortable silence stretching longer and longer as we both tried to think of something to say next. He broke it this time.

“Are you happy?” he asked, looking straight into my eyes and coming closer.

I shook my head. “I don’t have to be. There’s no alternative to this; nothing I can do to get out of it. Things are better than they were though; Marcus understands.”

“And you think we wouldn’t?” he retorted, sounding hurt.

I frowned. “No. But you don’t need to. You just have to accept it.”

I was cracking. Every second I spent looking at Emmet was bringing me closer to the pain I had been desperate to escape.

He could see that.

Emmet’s big arms wrapped around me, hugging me close to him. The sense of comfort was overwhelming, and I hugged him back without thinking. My eyes prickled, and I started to sob.

I could hear him trying to comfort me, felt his hand rubbing my back. I knew in that moment that it didn’t matter. My family didn’t care what I had become. They would take me back willingly, if I would go; and I wanted to go. It was unmistakably a complication that I was bound to stay here. If the situation had been different, I would gladly have walked out of here with Emmet right now. But I couldn’t.

That didn’t mean I couldn’t do him a favour.

I pulled away from his embrace, taking his hand and dragging him behind me towards the little side door.

“Where are we going?” he asked, confused.

“Shh,” I hissed. “We’re getting you out of here.”

I pulled Emmet through the antechamber, stopping to check the corridor before I stepped out. Giana was on her lunch break, which made getting to the elevators easier. We didn’t see anyone as we made our way along the dark corridors; reversing the route I had taken on my last trip to Volterra. As a high ranking member of the guard, I knew every entry and exit, every back door and every hidden tunnel. The drain where we had come through the street last time had a small metal ladder embedded in the wall, so it could function as an exit as well as an entrance. When we reached it I stopped and turned to face him. The darkness didn’t stop us from seeing each other.

“Emmet, this is probably the last time we’ll ever see each other. So you have to understand that I’m not doing this because I want to. I’m doing it because I have to. I’m here so the Volturi will leave Charlie alone. I’m here so that our family will survive. And I am here because I love each and every one of you, and I don’t want you to get hurt. Now listen to me very carefully.” I gripped his face in my hands, making him look me in the eye.

“You are going to climb up that ladder, open the grate, get out, and close it again. I will stay here until you’re done. Then you are going to take anyone who has come with you and go home. No stopping, no turning around. You get out of Italy as fast as your legs can carry you. You are going to tell everyone everything that I have told you, no editing, got it?”

He nodded.

“Good.” I pulled him into one last hug. “Love you big brother.”

“Love you little sis,” he whispered into my hair. “You want me to be a messenger?”

I could hear the grin in his voice, and couldn’t help smiling in response.

“Just tell everyone I love them. Give Nessie a kiss from me.”

“Got it. Love you Bells.”

Emmet stepped back and started to climb the ladder. When he got to the top, I heard the grate slide back. There was no light streaming down; it was the middle of the night, and the streets would be empty anyway.

“Emmet?” I called.

“Yeah Bella?”

“Thank you. For trying.”

“No problem.” The smile was still there in his tone, along with a love and adoration I had only heard bested by my bronze haired husband. “Thanks for letting me out.”

“Bye Em.”

“Bye Bells.”

Then the grate clanged shut, and he was gone.

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Chapter 7: Marcus

Chapter 7: Marcus
A few days after our return to Volterra, I was summoned by Aro.

“You wanted me Master?”
He smiled at me sweetly.

“Yes,” he said. “I wanted to speak to you about your mission.”

I had a feeling this was coming. “I’m sorry if I disappointed you Master.” I whispered, looking at the tiled floor beneath my feet.

Aro laughed, which confused me. I thought he would want to punish me for not doing the job I was sent to do, and for running away. Apparently that wasn’t the case.

“I am not angry with you Isabella. You showed excellent leadership skills, and, considering your past, it is an achievement that you went in at all.” He smiled at me.

“I have decided to give you a very great honour; a promotion if you will.”

“I live to serve Master,” I answered obediently. “Whatever you ask, I will obey.”

His smile softened. “Of course you will.” He got up and began to pace. “I have noticed that Marcus has been a little down lately. I think it is because he lacks a female companion.” Aro looked me in the eye. “You will be that companion.”

I blanched. “Me?”

He laughed softly. “Yes, you. You are exactly what he needs; young, intelligent, and beautiful. You will put some life back into him.”

I was in shock. Aro wanted me to be a companion to Marcus. My mind spun, trying to figure out everything that this would entail.

As if he could read my mind, Aro spoke.

“With regards to your standing here, you will no longer interact with the other guard members on a personal level.”

Not that I did that so much before; but I would miss talking to Chelsea.

“You will mostly be with Marcus. You will answer to him, and obey his every command. The wives are no longer off limits; in fact, you will be joining them, to a certain extent. You are no longer required to take part in missions or training. You will stay here in the tower. Understood?”

“Yes Master.”

“Good!” he smiled at me. “Come here. Let’s get you out of that old cloak.”

I approached him with as much confidence as I could muster, untying the strings of my cloak as I went. He moved behind me, pulling it off my shoulders. For a moment, it was as if more than just the weight of the material had been lifted from my shoulders.

Then he put my new cloak on me. It was thick velvet and pure black. It felt very heavy, though of course it wasn’t. Aro tied the strings, then stepped back to look at me.

“It suits you,” he sighed. Then he smiled widely. “Off you go now. Marcus will be in to see you shortly.”

I bowed deeply, thanking him for this honour, and retreated to my turret room.

I had had very little time to myself over the last few weeks; but every so often, there would be uninterrupted periods when I could wallow in self pity and let my feelings wash over me.

At these times, I would take of my cloak, pull out the albums and look at pictures. When things were really bad, I would look at the picture of Edward on the first page of my scrapbook and talk to it, imagining I was telling him all my troubles, and daydreaming about the things he would say to make it all better.

Today I took out Nessie’s baby book and started flipping through the pages, stroking my fingers across the pictures, letting my sobs flow freely. I had been here a month now. Even the most recent pictures would be out of date. My little girl was growing up, and I wasn’t there to see it.

The light knock on my door made me jump, and I hurriedly pushed the book away.

The door opened, and Marcus entered, closing it behind him before turning to look at me. I stood up hurriedly and bowed. “Master.”

He scoffed. “You know I really hate that. Just call me Marcus, please.”

I almost smiled; he sounded like a whiny teenager.

All of a sudden, his cool finger lifted my chin, making me look him in the eye.

“Have you been crying Isabella?” he asked, and I was surprised by the concern in his voice.

“N-no.” I tried to shake my head, but he held my chin tight.

“Yes you have.” Why was everyone set on proving me wrong? “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing Mas-Marcus. Really, it’s nothing.”

He frowned. “I don’t believe you.”

I sighed and pulled myself away from him, plopping down on the bed and staring at my shoes.

Unexpectedly, he sat down next to me. “You can tell me anything Isabella. I know Aro expects you to make me happy, but really, I could never care for anyone that way again, so there’s no point in trying.”

I looked up. “Again?”

“I had a wife too,” he sighed. “Once. Her name was Didyme. She was lost many centuries ago, during our squabbles with the Romanians. I’ve never really gotten over it.” He turned to face me, sadness in his milky eyes. “She was everything to me; my whole universe. Athenadora, Sulpicia; they are drawn to the others by their power. But what Didyme and I shared... it was true love Isabella. I know you can understand that.”

His eyes begged for my acceptance, and I was a little taken aback. I hadn’t expected any of them to be capable of feeling that way, and yet here was Marcus, baring everything to me, just some girl who he barely knew.

That was when I decided something that changed my life in Volterra for good.

He had showed me his soul; I would show him mine.

I pulled the album I had been looking at out from under my bed, along with the others. He looked at me curiously.

“I brought these with me from home. They’re pictures from my past. You can look at them if you want. Or I could show them to you.” I looked at him, holding my hand out to the books; letting him decide.

Marcus picked up the top book- the little wedding album- and opened it up so that it rested between us, one cover on each of our knees.

“Why don’t you show me? I’ll only be asking a million questions otherwise.”

I smiled and turned over the blank first page.

“This is from our wedding. Alice collected up all the best pictures from various people and put them in here for our anniversary.”

We spent the rest of the evening, and most of the night, looking through pictures. I got more and more animated as we went through, telling funny stories that went with a few of the pictures. Marcus seemed so interested, it compelled me to continue, not worrying that I was boring him. It reminded me of Edward’s two day interrogation when we first got together.

Over the next few days, Marcus and I continued to build our relationship. We talked about everything; but mostly about our pasts. He told me what little he could remember about the two decades ‘BA’ (Before Aro), and all about his happy years with Didyme. I told him about Jake and Charlie and Renee and Phil, and all the crazy things my family did, and how much I missed Edward. I even told him about our time apart after my disastrous birthday; something I had never gone in to detail about with anyone.

About a week after I became his companion, Marcus gave me a beautiful jewelled hair slide from his personal collection, and I showed him my wedding dress. We came to trust each other, and I was almost happy with him.

My past was becoming closer, but also more distant. It was a world of stories and fiction, just something I talked about.

Until two months after I joined the Volturi, when reality decided to make itself known.

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Chapter 6: Mission

Chapter 6: Mission

One thing could be said about Aro; he was a man true to his word. Two days after he made his promise, one of the lower guard members knocked nervously on my door and handed me a blood bag - the kind you get in hospitals for transfusions - and a large silver goblet. The cup had a raised engraving on it of two dragons, curled around each other, with glinting ruby eyes set into the metal. I split the bag open, reeling at the scent that filled the room, and poured it out into the cup. Then I set it on my dresser, sat down, and stared at my reflection.

My eyes had been gold for a good year now. I still wore contacts around Charlie, not wanting to give him too much to cope with, as we were easing him into the idea of Renesmee talking. Thinking of those first few months, the blazing red eyes, then the dull amber, I couldn’t help mentally calculating how long it would take to get my eyes the way they were now. I banished that thought immediately. There was no going back. My old life was behind me. This was the final piece of the puzzle; the final brick in the wall that separated Bella Cullen from Isabella, Volturi soldier.

Summoning up all my courage, I lifted the cup in both hands, closed my eyes... and put it to my lips. The smell, so close to my nose, made my throat burn uncontrollably, and I tried to swallow to calm it. The angle I had the cup at meant that my gulp tipped the first drops onto my tongue.

Oh!

It was exquisite, like nothing I had ever tasted. I instantly wanted more. A very small part of my head, the part still clinging to the person I used to be, screamed, disgusted and horrified.
I ignored that little voice, swallowing greedily, feeling the hot, wet liquid sooth my throat the way nothing had ever soothed it before. Only when I was sure I had swallowed every last drop did I put the cup down and open my eyes.
They blazed crimson. They had never been this bright before. Ever. Not even when I had only just woken up. I felt the power singing through my limbs, humming like electricity, increasing my waning strength tenfold. I flexed my fingers and stretched my arms out, marvelling at the feeling.

A soft tap on my door startled me.
“C-come in!” I called, trying to calm down.
Aro put his head around the door. “Ah! You have fed!” He smiled at me, his face unexpectedly warm. I smiled back.
“Thank you Master. So much. It’s perfect, just what I need.”
His smile grew wider and he entered the room. “How do you feel?”
I considered that for half a second.
“It’s so... different. I’ve never felt so strong before. I feel like...like I can do anything.” I smiled. It was an odd feeling, certainly, but it wasn’t unpleasant.
Aro looked almost smug; satisfaction radiated from him in waves.
“Come,” he said, holding out his hand to me. “It’s time for your first training session.”
***

Training was a fairly simple affair. Each guard member had a different regime, though they sometimes worked in pairs if they were similar. I was paired with Felix and Alec. Felix did the physical side of my sessions, the fighting, building on what little I already knew. I briefly imagined the smug look that would undoubtedly have been on Emmett’s face if he were here, because after my first lesson Felix commented, “Those Cullens are weird, but I have to admit, they gave you a pretty good foundation.” Apparently, the basic knowledge I had picked up in December was just the ground works, but it was good, and that made it easier for Felix to build up to more complicated things. I progressed quickly, and Caius took to watching me practise whenever he could, a mysterious glint in his eyes, almost as if he could imagine the possibilities when I was really good.

With Alec, I worked on my shield. This training was done in the presence of all three ancients, along with ten or so other guard members, including Jane, Demitri, Christiano and Chelsea, who had managed to coax me out of my room. She was my friend, and I spent a lot of time with her.
We started with the basics. My first time, I just stood in the centre of the room, my shield stretched out a few feet, and described the feeling of each of the offensive mental talents to Aro. Then they tested my extension. Alec filled the room with his paralysing mist, and I had to stretch my shield as far and as precisely as I could, covering every person in the room without including Alec or leaving any gaps. This was a bit of a challenge, but after a few weeks I could do it in seconds. I always aimed for the ancients first, because Aro liked to watch the stretch and power of the shield; the way the mist seemed to roll backwards as I pushed for the next person; the reaction of the ones I protected, their eyes blinking as they came back to reality. He came and stood next to me and asked me what it felt like.
“Like elastic Master, stretched out tight. It was hard at first, but I practised a lot, and it’s much easier to stretch now.”
“And the others?”
“I don’t quite understand Master.”
“What do they feel like, the people you shield?”
I thought for a moment before answering.
“Like bright spots of light. They are glowing beacons; extensions of my self, almost. It’s like a... a sixth sense. I can feel the people inside my shield; feel the minds I am protecting.”
Aro smiled, and went back to his seat, looking thoughtful.

It continued like this for about a week. Then, one day, Aro asked me to stay behind after my session with Alec.
“I was wondering Isabella,” he said, eyeing me speculatively. “Have you ever done anything else with your shield? It seems so powerful; you must be able to do more than stretch it.”
“I don’t know Master,” I answered honestly, “I haven’t really had that much practise. I know I can make it thicker, but that’s about it.”
He pursed his white lips. “I don’t know. Something tells me you can do more.”
I gnawed on my lip for a moment. Then I bowed my head. “I am sorry Master. I have not been truthful.”
Suddenly, he was right there, lifting my chin to look me in the eye. “What have you kept, child?” he asked, his voice sounding just as pleasant as before.
“I can do something else with my shield, though I haven’t had much practise, and I’m not very good at it.”
He looked fascinated. “What is it?”
I took a deep breath. “Well, when I was working on it last December, Zafrina tried teaching me how to push it away altogether, to strengthen me. I didn’t do very well until after our encounter in the clearing, because that was when I really came to understand my shield properly. I haven’t done it much, and it’s much more difficult than just stretching out and protecting other people.”
Aro was staring at me, an eager glint in his eyes. “Can you try it now?”
I bit my lip again. “I can try. It takes a lot of concentration. The only time I ever do it right is with E-Edward.” I stuttered a little on his name.
Aro held his hand out to me. “Just try. That’s all I ask.”
I hesitated for a moment, and then put my hand in his. He held it tightly, gripping it with both hands so our palms touched. I could feel every detail of his powdery skin. As a human I had thought it like shale. Now it felt like wet sand that had dried out and stuck in the shape of a man; grainy, but solid.

I closed my eyes and focused. This was harder than usual, because I didn’t have the motivation of trying to show Edward how much I loved him. But I made a very great effort and pushed my shield away. I heard Aro sigh, but I ignored it. I could already feel the elastic pull, the resistance trying to snap the shield back. I had to be totally focused if I wanted to hold it for any length of time.

I don’t know how long we stood there, but, out of nowhere, a loud bang broke my concentration. My shield snapped back and my eyes opened wide. Aro dropped my hand as Caius came in, his face a mask of pure fury, with a frightened looking Christiano trailing behind him.

“Why, brother, what has you so angry?” Aro asked, his tone polite. I folded my hands in front of me and went to stand beside Christiano, letting Caius take my place beside Aro.
Caius seemed too furious to speak. He just stuck his hand out for Aro to take. After a moment, Aro released him. His face looked troubled.
“Is this true Christiano?” he asked. “Is this what you saw?”
“Yes Master,” Christiano answered.
“Then we have a very serious problem.” He eyed me for a moment, and then seemed to make up his mind about something. “Christiano, you, Isabella, and Demitri will deal with this. Fill them in on the way there. Go, now.”
Christiano and I bowed, before he pulled me hurriedly from the room.
***

“So, what are we dealing with here?” Demitri asked, his tone all business, like we were discussing a change in the stock market, or a new investor in a large company.
The three of us were racing through the dark countryside, heading for a little tourist town in Oregon, right on the west coast.
Christiano looked very serious. “Fairly straightforward, on the surface. Vampire woman, human partner, she’s told him everything.”
“Why does that take three to deal with?” I wondered idly. My stomach was churning at the thought of enforcing the law. I would much rather have stayed in Volterra.
“Because it doesn’t end there.” Christiano replied, frowning. “The man wanted a child; a son to be his heir. When he found out his ‘angel’ couldn’t give him one, he demanded she do something about it. Her idea of solving the problem was to create an immortal child.”
Demitri hissed. I couldn’t speak.
Immortal children were taboo. No one made them any more. If people in the town had seen this child, if it had hurt people... I didn’t even want to think about it.
“What do we do?” I whispered.
It was Demitri who answered. “We go in, we get rid of the woman, the child, and any humans who have seen them. We do it quickly, without unnecessary violence. Can we assume she is a lone wanderer?” He turned to Christiano, who nodded.
“If she had a coven, they’re long gone by now.”
I listened to them with only half my concentration. The other half was trying to prepare itself for what was about to happen. Because this was going to involve death, in some form, and it was very likely humans who were going to pay most of the price. In the back of my head, I was trying to come up with ways to avoid a slaughter.

When we reached the house where the vampire woman lived, we slowed down to barely human speed, keeping as quiet as possible. We all listened.
There was the sound of a human heart beat on the second floor, slow with peaceful sleep.
On the first floor, a soft, syrupy voice was singing softly; a lullaby, so sweet it made my still heart ache. Behind the singing, a baby cooed softly.
Demitri knocked lightly on the door.
“Come in!” the voice called, before returning to her singing.
Demitri glanced at Christiano as he opened the door. I saw Christiano mouth “Sarah,” and realised that Demitri had been silently asking the woman’s name.

We walked down the short hallway to the living room. The boys looked at me. Apparently, I would be the leader. I took a deep breath to compose myself, and then nodded. They moved to take my flanks, and we rounded the corner.

Sarah sat in a rocking chair by an open fire facing us, a blanket wrapped bundle in her arms. She looked up as we entered, and froze instantly.
“Who are you?” she asked, her voice hard; but she was obviously terrified.
“I am Isabella,” I said, putting on a sugary sweet voice and imagining how Jane would do this. “And this is Christiano and Demitri.”
“What do you want?” Sarah hissed, her hands tightening around the bundle.
“I think you know what we want.” I sneered. The boys chuckled. “You have been a very bad girl Sarah. A very bad girl indeed.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” she said, expression defensive, eyes afraid.
“Don’t play dumb with us,” Demitri hissed menacingly, taking a step forward. “We know what you’ve done.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Sarah repeated, eyes suddenly on the floor, tone dead.
“Where did the baby come from Sarah?” I asked, sounding innocent and threatening at the same time. Christiano snickered. Sarah began to shake.
“And the man upstairs? The one who knows all about us? What did you think, that we were just going to ignore this? That we wouldn’t find out? That was very silly of you.” I smirked. “We always find out.”
The boys moved so they were in front of me. “And we never give second chances,” they hissed in unison.

Sarah began to sob, clutching the little vampire to her chest so tightly it began to howl. Christiano and Demitri moved steadily forward, hiding her from my view.

Then the screams began.

The metallic screeching of Sarah and the baby filled my ears and my mind. It bounced off the walls and brought the human racing down the stairs. I turned and smirked at him, watching his horrified expression as he took in the huddle in the living room.
He raced past me, not even seeming to care that I was there. I let him go. The boys would take care of him.
I didn’t turn, but his scream joined the others. The smell of incense filled the house as the vampires burned, mixed with the man’s blood in an intoxicating horrific mist.

That scent brought the gravity of the situation crashing down on me. I whirled, just in time to see the mangled remains of the baby crumble into ash.

I had to get out of there.
I didn’t think, I just turned and ran; through the kitchen, out the back door and into the trees at the edge of the lawn.
I was paying so little attention to my surroundings, I didn’t see the blur of white skin and black hair until it smacked into me, knocking us both to the ground with a resounding BOOM. I sprang up, intending to continue on my path, but I was stopped in my tracks by a horribly familiar voice.
“Bella?” Alice asked, her voice no more than a whisper.
I didn’t move. I didn’t turn. I just stood still as I listened to Alice picking herself up off the forest floor.
“Bella, is that you?” Her hand grasped my wrist, but I shook it off.
“No.” I said coldly.
Alice took a deep breath and grabbed my wrist again.
“Yes it is. You’re Bella. You’re my sister. You’re-”
“NO!” I yelled, cutting her off. “Bella Cullen is dead; she doesn’t exist any more.”
I turned to face her, my eyes boring into hers. “I am Isabella.”
Alice gasped, releasing my wrist, just as Demitri and Christiano barrelled into the little clearing.
“Shorty here bothering you Isabella?” Christiano asked.
I turned my nose up, still staring at Alice.
“No,” I said, my voice dead. “She just got in my way.”
Demitri sneered. “She had better apologise then.” He stepped towards her. “Well Cullen? We’re waiting.”
Alice looked at the ground. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I should have been looking where I was going.”
“Apology accepted.” I replied, my voice still cold and dead.
I turned to Demitri. “Are you finished?”
He nodded.
“Then we must be on our way.”

I turned for the trees.
“Bella, wait!” Alice choked.
I paused, looking at her from the corner of my eye. She took it as permission to speak.
“Please come home Bella. Nothing’s the same since you left. No one smiles any more; Nessie cries all the time, and Edward won’t leave his room. We miss you Bella. Please... please come back.”
I turned to face her fully.
“Goodbye Alice.” I said, my voice ringing with unspoken words, my eyes pleading for her understanding.
And then I darted into the trees with Demitri and Christiano on either side of me, trying to ignore the choked sobs coming from behind me, and stop my own from breaking loose.

Thursday, 13 October 2011

Chapter 5: Feeding Time

Chapter 5: Feeding Time
When we got back to Volterra, I shut myself up in my room to unpack. I sifted through the pictures, taking my favourites out and sticking them to the walls by the bed and around the mirror. As predicted, there were three pristine new dresses waiting in the closet, one red and two black, all silk and corsets. I used them as a cover for the long garment bag, intent on wearing only my own clothes for as long as possible.

Also waiting for me was a light grey hooded cloak.

This made it final.

I laid the cloak out on my bed. Beside it I placed a photo of the whole family which Jacob had taken about two weeks ago, on Esme’s birthday. I put my hand between them, separating them.

Two different worlds. Two different people. Never to touch.

A loud beeping startled me, and I realized I had forgotten about the cell phone in my duffel bag; the one thing I hadn’t unpacked. I dug through it until I found the phone.

52 missed calls and 29 text messages. All from Edward.

I sighed and started to cycle through them.

He had given up leaving messages after the 25th call, and all the texts were begging me to come home, or call him. It made my heart ache to read them, but I never once thought about hitting delete. These desperate pleas would be my only connection to him for who knew how long.

As I finished reading the last message, the phone buzzed again.

Mommy, it said.

Help! I don’t know what to do. We just got home, and you’ve been gone for days, and now your books are gone, and your clothes, and all the pictures. Daddy found a letter on the fire and now he’s crying. What’s wrong? Why is Daddy sad? Help me Mommy!

Ness

What could I say? What would reassure her? I hit reply.

Ask Daddy for the note with your name on it. I’ve just gone away for a while. Daddy will explain.

Please don’t text me again. Tell Daddy to stop too. It won’t help anything.

I love you.

Mommy

I pressed send just as a loud banging sounded on my door. I gasped and hid the phone under my quilt.

“Come in.” I called, trying to sound normal.

Jane stuck her head around the door. “It’s dinner time, newbie.”

“N-now?” My voice shook.

“Yes now,” Jane said, sounding exasperated. She came more fully into the room. “What are you doing up here anyway?”

She surveyed the room; the pictures, the clothes in the closet... the small lump under the sheets.

“What have we here?” she said, sneering. Her voice sounded horrible.

Faster than I could catch her, she darted over and pulled the phone out, just as it buzzed once more.

She flipped the phone open and I growled.

“Give it back Jane, that’s mine.” I snarled. She didn’t listen.

“Let’s see. OH!” Her cruel little smirk made yet another appearance. She chuckled.

“Mommy, don’t do this,” she read, putting on a ridiculous high voice. “I know I should be strong, but I can’t live without you. Daddy won’t even talk to me. There must be some way you can get away. Please come home! Nessie.” She laughed. “How precious! The little one wants you back. Well, she’s going to have to get used to disappointment then, isn’t she?”

With that, Jane flipped the phone shut, held it up, and slowly crushed it between her fingers. The plastic popped and the circuits cracked, and I snarled again. She just smirked.

“Oopsie!” she said.

That did it.

I roared, launching myself at her with all my strength. She squealed and fled, but I caught her easily. We rolled down the stairs, snapping and snarling at each other, wrestling for control. At the bottom, I pinned her into the floor, holding her throat in my hand.

“Isabella!” someone shouted, and my head snapped up. Aro was standing there, a shocked look on his face. I jerked up, still defensive. Jane got to her feet, straightening her rumpled clothes.

“Would one of you like to explain to me what is going on here?” he asked, and the same tone was in his voice as earlier; like he was talking to misbehaving school children.

“She attacked me!” Jane screeched, pointing an accusing finger at me. I growled.

“Isabella.” Aro cautioned. I took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry Master,” I said, trying not to snarl, “I still have a little trouble controlling my temper.”

“Granted, but there is no smoke without fire, so to speak. Was there a reason you got angry at Jane?”

“I...” I hesitated. Did I really want to say this? I decided I didn’t have a choice.

“I forgot that I still had my old cell phone in my bag. Edward’s been trying to contact me, and when Jane came in, she found the phone right when he sent me another message. She read it out, and then she broke it. I got angry. It’s as simple as that.”

Aro nodded. “That makes sense. It is often difficult to channel our anger. Jane, you will apologise to Isabella for breaking her phone.”

Jane glared at me. “Sorry,” she spit through her teeth.

“Now Isabella, I trust you do not have any other communication devices.”

“No Master.”

“Good,” he smiled, “then we can proceed. This way ladies.”

He held his hand out for us to go ahead of him. Jane stalked past me towards the little door halfway down the hall.

I recognised that door. All of a sudden, I couldn’t move. Aro was still watching me curiously. “Something wrong Isabella?” he asked.

“Master, I... I don’t know if I will be able to join you.” I whispered.

“Come now Isabella, it’s only natural.”

“Yes Master, but still... I’ve never... never killed a person before... ever. I don’t know... if I can... change who I am... just because I have changed my life.” I was very hesitant, not wanting to make him angry at me.

I felt a feather light hand on my shoulder, and looked up. Aro was looking at me, his eyes full of his own brand of kindness.

“I understand Isabella. You don’t want to disappoint your former family.”

I winced when he said ‘former’. He pretended not to notice.

“But you understand that we can’t provide you with the nourishment you are accustomed to. We simply don’t have the facilities. I’m afraid it’s this or nothing.”

I shook my head. Not wanting to face the truth.

“I’m sorry Isabella. Truly I am.” He seemed lost in thought for a second. “Give me a day or two. I’ll try to work something out. I can’t promise you your usual diet, but I can try to find a way that you won’t find difficult.”

I stared at him. “You’d really do that for me?”

“Of course!” he smiled, “I told you, I want you to be comfortable here. Now why don’t you go back up to your room? They will be starting soon, and I’m sure you don’t want to be around for that.”

I bowed to him. “Thank you Master. I am truly grateful.”

Then I turned and darted back up the stairs, to my little room.

The closest thing I had to home.

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Chapter 4: One Last Look

Chapter 4: One Last Look
“How much farther?” Demitri moaned. We had switched places after we passed Seattle an hour earlier, so I was now leading him. It didn’t feel right, showing him where I lived, but I couldn’t avoid it; he had been ordered never to let me out of his sight except for when I was in the house.

“Not much farther.” I sniffed, and the myriad of scents hit me like a bulldozer. I focused on the trail I was following; all our family, mixed together, but with Edward, Nessie, Jacob and I strongest and most prominent. “Can you smell that?” I called to him, “We’re almost there.”

He just huffed and continued to follow me.
About five minutes later, we reached the little clearing of the cottage. I could see the confusion on Demitri’s face.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I thought you all lived together closer to town. This place looks like it could barley hold one person, let alone nine, and we’re miles from the trails.”

I sighed and jumped down from the trees. There was no sound of movement inside; no one was in.

“We don’t all live here,” I corrected him. “This is just for our little family; just me and Renesmee and Edward.”

“Oh.” he seemed startled. I sighed again and went to the door. It was unlocked.

“Wait here,” I told him sternly, “I won’t be long.”
Once inside I took a moment to breath in the scents, committing them to memory. Then I hurried down the corridor to our bedroom. I pulled the smallest of the four suitcases off of the top shelf in the closet and began to pack some of the more sensible things in my clothing collection. I skipped over most of the white garment bags and their various silk and satin occupants, opting instead for jeans and plain cotton shirts. I was sure Aro would decide to treat me to some new clothes anyway, so what was the point in packing tons of stuff I wouldn’t wear.

I took only one bag down. Slightly greyer than the others, and still smelling faintly of Charlie’s house, the bag containing my wedding dress stood out from the others, largely because it had a rack all to itself and a big white ribbon tied round the hanger. I folded it carefully into the case, and then moved on to the living room.

I took all my books off the shelf, leaving only a much abused Romeo and Juliet behind. Going to the bottom shelf, I took out three books from the stack of photo albums.

One was my old scrapbook, finished off with graduation photos alongside the snapshots from September. I had of course replaced all the pictures Edward had taken out once he returned them to me.

The second was a small, one picture per page album of wedding photos.

Last was Nessie’s baby book. It was stuffed with three years worth of photos, which had actually been taken over six months. Every phase of her childhood was in there, along with lots of pictures of the rest of the family, including me. My favourite page was one titled ‘The First Time I Met Daddy’, which had four pictures of Edward holding Nessie when she was only a day old.

I slipped the photos into the top flap of the case and zipped it shut. Now came the hard part.

Aro had sent me back to my room to wait for Demitri, and I had used the time to write a short letter. I took it out of my pocket and read it over one last time.

Edward,
I am so, so sorry. I will never forgive myself for what I am doing, but I don’t have a choice.
It’s the Volturi. They found out about Charlie. Jane caught me leaving Tanya’s, and she says that just showing myself to him is breaking the rules. They were going to kill him, unless I joined them. I don’t want to, but I can’t let him be hurt because of me.
I wish there was another way, but I can’t see it. We can’t protect him without really revealing ourselves, and we can’t fight them alone. There is no choice, no alternative.
I will miss you, all of you, with all my heart. I will be thinking of you every second.
Look after yourself. For Nessie; she needs you. And for me.
I love you. Forever. Never forget that.
Goodbye my love.
Bella

I sealed the letter into its envelope, along with a short note for Nessie.

Renesmee,
I am very sorry that I have to go away. I don’t know when I will come back, or if I will come back at all, but I don’t want you to be unhappy. You have to be strong.
Look after Daddy for me. You are all he has left now.
Never forget; wherever I am, however long we are apart, we will always be together in our hearts.
I love you, my little nudger.
Mommy

I propped the envelope up on the fire place, then heaved the suitcase off the floor and took one last look around my home. Then I walked out, closed the door, and turned my back on Bella Cullen.