Chapter 13: Edward

“Sweetheart, what's wrong?I asked. I heard the rest of the family enter the room, but remained focused on my daughter. She didn't seem able to answer me with words, so she held up the object in her hand.

It was a hand gun.

Chapter 13: Edward

There was a joint intake of breath from everyone present. Before I could react, Nessie pressed her hand to my arm, showing me what she and Jake had found at the cottage.

The living room was dark as Jacob pushed open the door. He kept me behind him, just in case. I couldn't see anything, but I could vaguely hear tiny whispers of sound; shifting weight making the furniture creak slightly; fabrics rubbing together; low, shallow breathing. Then, a voice spoke.

“Go away.”

I had to resist the urge to cower in fear, had to remind myself that this was Daddy, that he would never hurt me. But, young as I was, I could hear the undisguised pain and anguish in his words; like part of him was dead.

“Edward...” Jacob began to protest, but Daddy cut him off.

“I said, go away!”

I felt a stab of anger go through me. How dare he treat us this way? After everything Jacob had been through for him, how dare he speak to him like that, like he meant nothing?

I stepped forward. Jake put his hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off.

“Stop it Daddy. Don't be rude to Jacob.”

I heard him sigh. “Renesmee, this isn't your problem. Please, I don't want to upset you, so just go home.”

His words made me indignant. “You're upsetting me already, by staying away. Please Daddy, it's Christmas Eve. Come home, just for today and tomorrow. If you want, you can come straight back here after, just... please.” My voice broke, making my plea even more pitiful.

An odd choking sound came from the darkness, then a click and a dull thud. Jacob stiffened at my side.

“Edward, don't be stupid.”

There was no response from the shadows. After a second, Jake darted into the darkness. I whimpered. The sound of a brief scuffle reached my ears, followed by a low snarl that quickly built into a loud stream of growling and snapping.

Something black and oddly shaped skidded to a halt at my feet.

“Nessie!” Jake yelled. “Quick! Take that back to the house. Run, as fast as you can and don't look back!” He grunted suddenly before continuing. “Go, Ness! Now!”

I didn't think. I didn't pause to wonder what was happening. I scooped up the dark object and ran.

I hugged Nessie close as she began to cry, rocking her gently back and forth. Carlisle took the gun from her, passing it to Jasper and kneeling beside us, rubbing her back softly.

“Nessie, darling, why don't you go upstairs and lie down?” he murmured, his voice soothing and quiet. She nodded against my shoulder, and I stood to carry her to bed. Once she was safely under the covers and fast asleep, I hurried back downstairs.

Carlisle, Emmet and Jasper were talking in hushed voices, while Esme sobbed uncontrollably on the couch. Alice sat on one side of her with Rose on the other, both trying unsuccessfully to sooth her. If I hadn't been so terrified, I would have been furious. Edward was hurting all of us with his melodramatic idiocy. I understood how he had to be feeling – I’d felt it myself – but that didn't give him an excuse to be rude to my friend and our daughter. Behind the anger was a nagging guilt. This was my fault. If I hadn't left, this wouldn't have happened. I felt almost depressed when I considered it; I had driven my own husband to attempted suicide.

I went over to the men, standing calmly beside Emmet, who put his arm around my shoulder. I leaned into him slightly, grateful for the support.

“What I want to know,” Jasper was saying, “is what he was trying to achieve. It's not as if it could actually do him any harm.”

Carlisle nodded, frowning. “That may be true, but we have no idea how he's feeling right now. He may not be thinking straight.”

The gun sat, nondescript and deceptively safe-looking, on the coffee table in front of us. There was something familiar about it, something that didn't quite look right. The size and shape of it made me think of Charlie's police issue pistol, but there was something different about it that tugged at the edges of my memory. I bent down, picking it up to get a better look. I could feel everyone’s eyes watching me, but I ignored them as I gently turned the gun over and over in my hands, studying it.

Realisation hit me suddenly, and I gasped.

Carlisle put his hand on my arm. “Bella? What is it?”

“I know this gun.”

Rose, Alice and Esme were standing with us now, and Alice looked at me quizzically. “You do?”

I nodded. “In Volterra, my first training session was about recognising and dealing with human weapons that had the potential to be harmful to us. Mostly it was stuff like flame-throwers and incendiary bombs; things that could set us on fire. But this was on the list too.”
The others were all staring at me, mouths open in identical masks of horror.

“What is it?” Esme asked in a whisper. She looked set to break down again any second.

My voice was dead as I explained. “It's an SLR Long-range 50-cal. Basically the same as an ordinary hand gun, but with an additional air chamber that's pressurised and fitted behind the hammer. When the air is released, it is forced out in the only direction it can go; that is, down the barrel, behind the bullet. It packs a hell of a punch, and is designed to be used from a distance. It's basically a compact sniper rifle, and firing any less than 50 feet away from the target can have some messy results.”

“But it couldn't really hurt us, right?” Emmet asked nervously. He was gripping Rosalie’s hand tightly, and looked uncharacteristically nervous.

I shook my head. “I wish it didn't. When used properly, it would have the same effect as any normal gun; it still uses ordinary bullets, despite its modifications. But too close, and it can cause serious damage. It could crack our skin, leave a dent, even blow off a limb. If Edward was firing this at himself, it would be point blank range, maybe even closer...” I trailed off, horrified by the thought. Esme was crying again, and everyone, even Jasper, looked like they might do the same any second.

It was as we were all standing there, unable to speak, that we heard the sound of running feet again; the light step of a vampire, feet dragging slightly, along side the heavy thud of a wolf's paws and heartbeat.

Jacob and Edward had finished hunting.

The fury I had felt before flared up, stronger than before, overtaking my whole body. My vision turned red, and I felt my shield balloon out over the house, covering everyone. Gripping the gun tightly in my hand, I broke away from the huddle around the coffee table and marched towards the back door. I didn't go outside though. Instead, I peeped out of the window beside the door, watching the back yard.

Jacob emerged from the edge of the trees, pushing Edward in front of him. My breath caught in my throat when I saw him.

He looked absolutely horrendous. His clothes were rumpled and a little torn, and there was a large blood stain across the front of his shirt. His hair was sticking up even more than usual, and I could see several leaves poking out of it at odd angles. He had a look of resignation on his face, mixed with a little irritation and …

Utter hopelessness. Crippling pain. Everything I felt.

It was as I stared at his face that I saw the web of cracks and dents that decorated both his temples. He looked as if one tap would shatter his head completely. Anger spiked through me again. Seeing the evidence of what he had done to himself made me want to smack him for doing it. At the same time, I wanted to run to him, hold him, tell him everything would be ok, and kiss every inch of him that I could reach. Because, despite his dishevelled appearance and the cracks along his head, he was still more beautiful than anyone else in the world. And he was still my Edward.

“Alright, Jacob, I’m here.” he said, and his voice made my heart ache. “Now, can I have it back?”

Jacob shook his big head and huffed. Edward frowned and turned to face him.

“What do you mean you don't have it?”

Jake shrugged.

“So help me Jacob… ”

I decided this was the moment to intervene. I opened the door and marched out on to the lawn. Edward and Jacob both heard me approach and turned to face me. Jake's tongue lolled out the side of his mouth in his trademark wolfy grin, while Edward stiffened and just stared.

“Looking for this?” I asked him, my voice acidic, as I held up the gun. He had the decency to look suitably sheepish, although it was clear he was still in shock from seeing me here.

“Where did you get that?” he asked, his voice still flat and expressionless.

“Nessie brought it back with her. What I want to know is why you had it in the first place.” I was openly glaring at him now, the anger coming back yet again. I had a feeling Jasper was trying to subtly calm me down, but really, all I wanted to do right at that moment was let go; I wanted to release every pent up frustration and annoyance, and just get it all out of my system.

That is, until Edward’s next actions shocked every thought out of my head. He dropped to his knees with his head down, his arms out to his sides, palms up, the picture of defencelessness and surrender.

“Do it then. Punish me. End me. I don't care any more. Life without you isn't life at all.” When he looked at me, it was as if he were looking up from the deepest pit of Hell. “Just do what you came here to do, Isabella.”

I couldn't move. He thought I was here to kill him. He thought I was capable of killing him? Did he know me at all? Or was he going crazy. Determination gripped me as strongly as the anger had moments before.

I took the gun in both hands, my fists wrapping around the metal; one on the barrel, one on the handle. I began to twist them apart squeezing as I went. There was a loud bang as the air chamber burst, expelling the one remaining bullet in the magazine. It shot into a tree, leaving a dent and chipping off a piece of bark the size of a large jigsaw puzzle piece.

Edward stared at me incredulously as I crossed the lawn towards him. I knelt down in front of him, looking straight into his dark gold eyes.

“You know I hate that name.” I whispered.

Then, mindful of his fragile state, I took his face in my hands, pulled him down to my level, and kissed him with a passion only possible after six months of separation from the only reason you had to go on living.

For half a second, Edward was completely frozen. Then, his arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me against him so tightly it would have broken my ribs when I was human. His lips responded to mine, and the world disappeared. There was no river, no forest, no house. No Jacob standing a few feet away, still in his wolf form. No family in the living room, most likely watching through the glass wall. No Renesmee sleeping in Edward’s old room on the third floor. Just him and me, without a breath of space between us, conveying more in one kiss than we ever could in words, even if we talked for a thousand years.

He pulled away gently, his eyes full of love, with only the barest hint of confusion. I smiled at him, and spoke again, still whispering.

“That's what I came here to do.”

His answering smile was glorious as he leaned in to kiss me once more.