After a warm reunion with the rest of the family, Edward and I decided to head upstairs and wake
Renesmee so that we could head back to the cottage. Hopefully her little nap wouldn't stop her from going back to sleep; it was getting quite late and she was sure to be up early tomorrow. According to Esme, Charlie and the Clearwaters, along with most of the pack, would be joining us for our Christmas celebrations. I was glad; I didn't know how much longer I could wait to be sure my father was alright.
As we reached the third floor, I realised there was something I needed to do before returning to our daughter, and pulled Edward into the bathroom. He looked a little confused as I jumped up onto the counter and gestured for him to stand in front of me. It was hard, when he was so close to me, to concentrate on the task at hand; it had been so long, and he was so utterly irresistible. But I pushed the lust I felt for him back. For now.
Just as I had before, I took his face gently in my hands, but this time I twisted his head to the side so I could reach the damage done by the bullets. Then I pulled him close and kissed the spot gently before my tongue snaked out to touch his skin.
“Bella? What...” He broke off with a hiss of pain as the venom stung him. I felt bad about hurting him; but the venom did its job. When I pulled back, the last of the cracks was sealing up, leaving the shimmering alabaster surface as smooth as a statue. After I repeated the process on the other side, Edward was as good as new.
He looked at me suspiciously. “Where did you learn that?”
I shrugged. “Just a little trick Felix taught me; I guess you could call it vampire first aid. It's nothing really. I just didn't want Renesmee to see all the cracks and things. She's scared enough as it is.”
His eyes dropped to his hands where they gripped the counter either side of my hips. “I don't know what I was thinking. How could I do that to her, to the others? What if-”
“Shh,” I placed my finger against his lips, silencing him. “It's ok. Heartbreak can make us do some crazy things. I know that, and so do you. What matters is that we face the facts, accept it and move on. We've done it once before and we can do it again.”
Edward’s eyes were agonised as they stared into mine. “Are you sure?”
“Are you doubting your feelings for me?”
“No.”
“ Are you doubting mine?”
“No! Never.”
“Then what's the problem? Edward, we've been through too much not to have our happy ending; I’m sure of that. The only thing I don't know is how much more is going to be thrown at us before we get there. Whatever it is, we can take it, as long as we're together.”
His smile returned tentatively. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”
I laughed, hoping to alleviate the serious atmosphere; it was Christmas, after all. “How am I supposed to know? Whatever it was, you probably did it before I was born.”
That did it. He grinned my favourite lopsided grin, his eyes shining.
“Come on. Let's get Nessie and go home.” I said, and he nodded, kissing me once briefly before helping me down from the counter. I smiled at his unnecessary but very sweet gesture; once a gentleman, always a gentleman.
Our hands remained clasped as we walked from the bathroom to Edward’s room. He opened the door gently, so it didn't make a sound, and we both peered in to see our daughter curled up under the soft gold comforter, looking very small in the middle of the big bed. I could see the dried tear tracks running down her cheeks, the little damp spot on the pillow; yet her expression was peaceful, her whole face relaxed and her body no different to any other night, her stuffed wolf clutched to her chest. I gently pulled back my shield.
I almost don't want to wake her, I thought, she looks so happy.
“I know love,” Edward whispered. “We don't have to wake her.”
He walked silently across the thick carpet and picked her up, comforter and all. She curled into his chest and sighed. Her eyelashes fluttered and parted, but it was clear she was still half asleep.
“Hi Daddy,” she mumbled, her words slightly slurred.
“Hey there princess. Don't let me disturb you. You can sleep if you want.”
She hummed contentedly. “Are you home now?”
He smiled. “Yes baby, I’m home.”
“And Momma?”
“Of course darling.”
“Everybody's happy?”
“Yes honey,” I said, coming up beside her and kissing her forehead. “Everybody is very happy.”
She smiled.
“Sleep now sweetheart,” Edward whispered, his velvet voice extra smooth. “Sleep, and when you wake up, it will be Christmas. Sleep, my precious Renesmee, my darling child.”
And sleep she did. Her eyes closed and she nuzzled her face into Edward’s shoulder, one of her hands reaching out to me. I put my hand in hers and she held it tightly.
Still joined, we made our way downstairs, pausing briefly to wish the family goodnight, and receive loving kisses and stern warnings never to run off again from Esme. Then we ran, flying through the green maze of the forest together until we reached the cottage. Edward put Nessie in her own bed while I lit a fire and tidied the living room. My suitcase was still back at the house, and the absence of my books and the photo albums made the bookcase look especially bare. I shuddered delicately as I gathered up the spent bullets that littered the floor, and took my anger out on them, crushing them together into a twisted metal ball. I put the mangled sphere in the very back of the bottom drawer of my dresser in the closet, unable to throw it out but not wanting to see it either.
Edward was waiting when I returned to the bedroom. He had opened the doors onto our little garden, and he was staring out into the navy-blue night as a gentle breeze blew in. I watched it rustle his ruined clothes, dance through his dishevelled hair, and heard the whisper of it against his granite skin. His shoulders were tense, and he was as still as a statue.
I crossed the room as quietly as I could, then removed his tattered jacket; apparently today's meal had managed to get its claws into him this afternoon. He relaxed as I began to gently massage his shoulders, sighing in contentment.
“Thank you,” he whispered. “That feels wonderful love.”
“You're welcome,” I said, smiling. I continued to rub his back soothingly, working all the kinks and knots out of it. He hummed happily all the way through, and I think I even caught a quiet moan of pleasure. Once I was finished he turned and kissed me deeply, forcefully, almost roughly. He had never kissed me this way before, but I liked it. We were both panting when he moved down to my neck. My hands travelled down from his shoulders, over his chest; my fingers fisted the fabric of his shirt and tugged.
“Come to bed, my husband,” I whispered huskily; Edward moaned and captured my lips again. We staggered backwards, him pushing while I pulled, until my knees hit the mattress and we collapsed, never breaking our kiss, which was getting more frenzied by the second. Hands groped, fabric tore. I was a little annoyed – this was one of my favourite shirts – before I remembered I had another one in the closet. Thank goodness for Alice’s tendency to buy things in duplicate and even triplicate sometimes.
Unfortunately, the same could not be said for the white lace garments I was wearing underneath.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Edward tucked the covers around me, his gentle movements a stark contrast to his actions of the past hour. The moon shone through the trees, uninterrupted by clouds, and the pearly light reflected off the little pond outside. It was bright enough that our skin glittered slightly as we lay together, basking in the closeness after so long apart. Neither of us spoke; we had no need. Each gentle brush of fingertips on skin, each fluttering kiss, each subtle shift in position, said more than all the words in the world, to us at least. After all the time we had had together, we each knew the others habits, expressions and body language almost better than we knew our own. For example, when we were stressed, Edward became as stiff as a board and I got a tiny crease between my eyebrows, but neither of us was aware that we did these things; yet the other one could see it instantly. It took us only a second to assess each other's emotional climate; we didn't need to be mind-readers.
Our quiet moment was interrupted suddenly, by a sound in the other room. Human ears would not have heard it, even if there had not been several walls between us and the source of the noise.
It was a tiny, frightened whimper.
I stilled, listening, and he did the same. After a moment, it came again, the same scared whimper, only louder this time, and more desperate. Others followed, growing from each other and joining seamlessly so that it seemed like one continuous stream of sound. They got louder and louder, more and more fearful. In less than a minute, there were words too.
“No... no... leave him alone... Grandpa... Momma... no, don't go, please... stay... you promised.”
I got up quickly, moving as fast as I could into the closet and pulling on a little silk night gown and a warm robe. Edward followed, slipping into a pair of plaid pyjama pants; but I wasn't focused on him any more. I hurried down the hall to Nessie's room, tying the cord on the robe and trying to tame my hair.
I opened the door to find Renesmee tossing and turning, the golden comforter tangled around her legs, her little face scrunched up in fear and soaked with tears. Her whimpers and moans of pain and terror twisted my heart, and the words that spilled from her had risen to such a volume that they were more screams than speech, and impossible to understand.
I hurried to her side, grabbing hold of her shoulders and shaking as gently as I could.
“Nessie, Nessie, wake up. It's alright sweetheart, it's just a dream. Wake up darling.”
Her eyes flew open and she sat bolt upright. She stared at me for a second, then flung herself into my arms, fresh tears pouring down her cheeks as she hugged herself closer. I wrapped her in my arms and rocked back and forth, trying to sooth her.
“Shh darling, shh. It was just a dream. You're alright, you're alright. Don't cry baby, please don't cry.”
“Momma!” she wailed, clinging to me.
“I'm here, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, Nessie. Come on now, calm down. You'll make yourself sick if you carry on like this.”
I was getting desperate and I knew it. She was just so hysterical; it honestly scared me.
Nessie sniffed and wiped her eyes, the crying calming until it became a series of hiccuping sobs. I brushed away the tears she missed and stroked her tangled curls.
“There now. Better?”
She nodded. “It is now that you're here.” She looked up at me, her big brown eyes still brimming with moisture.
“I thought they came back for you,” she whispered, and I didn't have to ask who she meant by 'they'. “I dreamt that they were taking Grandpa away and you went with them. All Aro had to do was call out to you and you went and... and...” Sobs choked her voice and she began to cry again. I pulled her close, still caressing her hair.
“He could never make me do that. Nothing and nobody will ever take me away from you Renesmee, never again. I will never go anywhere without you ever again.”
She sniffed again, her face still buried in the fabric of my robe. Her hand found its way to my neck.
Do you promise?
“I swear.” I whispered fiercely.
She sighed happily. I went to tuck her back in to bed, but she shook her head.
“I don't want to sleep.”
“Nessie,” I sighed, “you have to sleep. It's late, and you're going to have a busy day tomorrow.”
Her face was fearful again. “If I go back to sleep, I’ll see them again. I’ll have more nightmares.” She looked down, then peered up at me through her lashes – a trick she had learnt from her father and often used on him when there was something she wanted. “Can I sleep in your bed? Please?”
Normally I wouldn't let that look sway me, but she was obviously still terrified of what she might see if she closed her eyes, so I nodded and picked her up, cradling her to my chest like a baby. In a lot of ways, she was still a baby. Though her body was that of a seven year old, and her mind was even more advanced, at the end of the day, she was still only two years old.
Edward was waiting for us when we reached the master bedroom, sitting up against the headboard with the covers draped over his thighs. He had the soft throw blanket from the back of the couch in his hands, and he held it out as I approached. Carefully, I passed Renesmee to him, and he wrapped her securely in the blanket while I climbed into the bed beside them. She sighed as the covers came over her and we both lay down; she curled into my chest with my arms around her and Edward’s around both of us.
I remembered a song my mom used to sing to me when I had nightmares, and, hoping it would help, I began to sing it, very softly.
“Come stop your crying, it will be alright.
Just take my hand, hold it tight.
I will protect you from all around you,
I will be here, don't you cry.
For one so small, you seem so strong.
My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm.
This bond between us can't be broken.
I will be here, don't you cry.
Cause you'll be in my heart,
Yes you'll be in my heart.
From this day on, now and forever more.
You'll be in my heart,
No matter what they say.
You'll be here in my heart,
Always.
Why can't they understand the way we feel?
They just don't trust what they can't explain.
I know we're different but, deep inside us,
We're not that different at all.
And you'll be in my heart,
Yes you'll be in my heart.
From this day on, now and forever more.
Don't listen to them, cause what do they know.
We need each other, to have to hold.
They'll see in time, I know.
When destiny calls you, you must be strong.
I may not be with you, but you've got to hold on.
They'll see in time, I know.
We'll show them together cause,
You'll be in my heart,
Believe me, you'll be in my heart.
I’ll be with you,
From this day on, now and forever more.
You'll be in my heart,
you'll be here in my heart.
No matter what they say.
I’ll be with you,
You'll be here in my heart,
I’ll be there,
Always,
Always,
I’ll be with you,
I’ll be there for you always.
Always and always.
Just look over your shoulder.
Just look over your shoulder.
Just look over your shoulder.
I'll be there,
Always.”
Renesmee sighed. “Pretty song Momma. You sing it good.”
“Thank you baby,” I said, smiling. “Go to sleep now. Everything's alright. We're together now, and nothing can tear us apart.”
She nodded, her eyes drifting closed. “Mommy's song please Daddy.” she said, her words running together slightly.
“Of course, my darling.” Edward replied.
He began to hum my lullaby softly, and she drifted to sleep in seconds, utterly exhausted. I wiped away the last of the tears and kissed both her cheeks.
Just for fun, I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep too. Edward chuckled once and squeezed me gently, then went back to humming.
And that was how we spent our night. Edward hummed, changing song every now and then; Nessie slept, and I pretended to do the same. When the sun rose on Christmas morning, it found us still curled up together in the big white bed, wrapped up in a bubble of peace and contentment. There was no threat of invasion, no malicious forces waiting in the wings; it was as if Aro and the Volturi didn't even exist, and there was nothing in all the world but the three of us.
Just the way it should be.
No comments:
Post a Comment