Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Chapter 9: Backwards

Chapter 9: Backwards
After Emmet left, I got more and more depressed. The memories I’d been trying so desperately to distance myself from were coming back, stronger and more painful than ever. Everything was intensified after my change; sight, hearing, speed, intimacy. It seemed pain and loss got the same treatment.

I confided in Marcus the way I used to talk to Jacob, telling him about the hole in my chest, the heart that felt so heavy all of a sudden, the aching need to be somewhere else, a hundred thousand miles away from the sandy coloured city and its dark inhabitants.

It was during one of these conversations, when I had my head in his lap as he stroked my hair, that Marcus came out with a very unexpected statement that was the turning point of my Volturi life.

“I don’t like your eyes red.”

That was all he said, during a short silence between my sobs. I was so startled, they choked off abruptly and I sat bolt upright.

“What did you just say?”

“I don’t like your eyes red,” he repeated slowly. “They look so much nicer golden. And I’m tired of you being so unhappy Isabella. If making you at least part of the person you once were will help... well, I will do anything to make it happen.”

He pushed up of my bed, heading purposefully for the door.

“Wait!” I called. “What are you going to do? Aro won’t-“

“I don’t give a damn about Aro. As far as I’m concerned, he has manipulated and, though indirectly, mentally tortured an innocent young woman. He has taken away every reason you had to go on existing. I know that from the feelings you are having now. You deserve better than this life Isabella.”

Ice stabbed at my heart as I remembered Edward saying those words so long ago, when I was a stubborn, breakable little human.

You deserve better than this Bella, better than me.

“What are you going to do?” I asked again, calmer now, rational.

“Whatever it takes. I’ll sneak you out of the city myself if I have to, take you halfway around the world to find something you would find desirable. But Isabella...” He took my face in his hands and stared at me intently. “Trust me when I say that I will help you. I will make things better. You will be happy again.”

He was so fierce, more passionate than I had ever seen him, practically snarling with determination.

Though he still held me, I looked down, not meeting his eyes.

“I don’t deserve it.” I whispered quietly. “You’ve been far too good to me already Marcus. I never asked you to listen. I’m not supposed to be pouring my heart out to you; I’m supposed to be making you happy.”

He shook his head. “You don’t have to do anything. I don’t expect anything from you.”

Marcus’s eyes suddenly flew to the window, where the light of the rising Tuscan sun was beginning to shine through. The bright shaft of sunlight caught us full on, making his powdery skin shine like glitter. I could see the rainbows from my own sparkling shine dancing on the walls, and my heart ached for the times when something like this was special. In Volterra, flashes of sun making people sparkle were an almost daily occurrence.

“I have to go now,” Marcus said quietly, distracting me from my reverie. “I will return at nightfall. Hopefully I will have a solution by then.”

He kissed my forehead and slipped out the door, leaving me alone with my memories and my sparkle.
___________________________________________________________________________________

Marcus did return, as promised, with the setting sun. He didn’t even hesitate to explain. He simply grabbed my wrist and towed me through the tower to another secret back door. I guessed from his elated expression that he had been successful in his mission, and my suspicions were proved correct when Aro met us at the door.

“Be careful,” he warned us both, adopting once more the stern school teacher look.

We both nodded very seriously. Marcus released me, and I stepped forward, kissing Aro very lightly on the cheek.

“Don’t worry Master. He will keep me safe.”

“He had better.” Aro almost growled.

I laughed, trying to lighten the suddenly tense mood. Marcus took my hand again, smiling.

“Shall we?” he asked gesturing to the now open door, before towing me through and into the warm night.

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